In 2020, my wife Alora (girlfriend/partner at the time) moved in with her folks in Monterey with the intention of staying for just two weeks as things blew over. We had been living in San Francisco in separate apartments and had been dating for about two and a half months at that point. Moving in with her folks after such a short time together was a leap of faith for us and for them. But what we found in Monterey was gentle, beautiful, and exactly what we needed at the time.
As our COVID pod, we had the chance to develop relationships as a family unit, cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner together almost every day. In the fall we drove across the country and spent a couple of months on the east coast with my parents. While we were there, Alora was invited and agreed to co-found The Pearl Works, a coworking space in the heart of Monterey. It’s beautiful—natural wood, plants, good smells, friendly people, and a welcoming space to work in. This space is said to "increase the surface area of luck." It's one of the most powerful places to drop in if you're hoping to be connected with what is currently happening.
There are a few other places that stand out to me as hubs where good things happen: Captain + Stoker, East Village Cafe, Breakthrough for Men, Wendi Kirby Music, and Creative Mornings. These endeavors require massive amounts of energy to maintain and I'm so grateful for the stewards of these organizations who are holding the key spaces in Monterey.
On a recent walk, I shared this idea of Monterey having gravity—a place where people grow up, leave, return, leave again, and eventually retire at their childhood home. The friend I shared this idea with laughed and called it a black hole where people get sucked in and not much light leaves. They grew up here and are committed to building a community, and they also recognize that Monterey isn’t a big city, which has both pros and cons. Monterey is a breath of fresh air from much of the drama taking place in the world. And Monterey offers some of the best access in the world to beautiful natural sites—water, woods, and mountains. It also has a significant population of retirees who value a slower pace of life.
It’s unclear whether Monterey's gravitational pull comes from its stunning natural environment as an energetic way of being or from the three primary industries—military, hospitality, and agriculture. All three industries rely on transient populations: military students stationed here for a few years, tourists/ conference attendees, and seasonal workers. While Monterey has a lot of people, these communities are often insular, deeply connected to their respective organizations but not necessarily to Monterey itself as a place to thrive.
Monterey has gravity, and it will continue to attract people who come and go. Because of that, it has an ongoing need for core community features that make it livable and welcoming for those who seek something deeper than comfort. But it can also be heartbreaking to welcome incredible people in, only to watch them move away when their hearts call them elsewhere.
Regular events—beyond just open mic nights and trivia—are essential. For those who wish to truly connect, there are strong community spaces waiting.
- Breakthrough, a men’s community, will continue to thrive, and participating in it was vital for my own sense of belonging in Monterey.
- I’ve been hosting a men’s bonfire once a month, which brings together a sweet group of guys and is something that I hope will persist even after I leave.
- There is Freestyle Dance Jam twice a month at Chautauqua Hall, providing a space for people to move and process the experience of being human.
- Creative Mornings was started last year and one Friday morning each month a speaker shares their story and many curious folks attend and connect with each other.
- Conversation Corner at The Pearl Works is a monthly potluck event where we use conversation starter cards to support meaningful conversation.
- Hacienda Hay and Feed in Carmel has a bunch of amazing events with excellent humans.
- Global Villagers Community brings together lovers of travel, culture, and the arts on the first Thursday of each month at East Village Cafe.
- The Monterey Sports Center functions as a community hub too. Whenever I go, there are familiar faces and the equipment and sauna are excellent.
Many of these activities require significant effort to sustain, and they don’t always replenish the energy of the host. As I reflect on this list, I realize that many of these events emerged after COVID. I know there are more communities I haven't mentioned—churches, Rotary, Toastmasters, Leadership Monterey County, —all of which play a crucial role. But the spaces where we seek to align with our deeper truths feel particularly vital, and they remain relatively few.
It’s important to be gentle with ourselves and each other. We must build communities that can endure beyond any single person’s presence—because people come and go. If you’re new to Monterey, explore the communities, join a group, offer to help organize and lead. That first year of active participation in an established community will make your time here richer. And your fresh enthusiasm is vital for keeping these essential parts of Monterey alive as waves of people continue to pass through.
At The Pearl Works, we’ve seen multiple waves of people and activities over the past three years. Every two years or so, a new cycle begins. Monterey’s gravity will always pull people in and sometimes will let them go. The best thing we can do is build strong enough communities that persist—no matter who stays or leaves.